Thursday, June 26, 2014


i am so far from perfect that it sometimes eats away at me.
i think about what i need to be doing and i beat myself up over it.
to the extreme.
whether its maintaining a friendship that seems as if its failing,
or not taking time to read my scriptures.

i have felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude lately for the Lord.
along with gratitude came a gratitude for myself. and the person i am.

i am excessive and strange. i am loud and obnoxious. but i am also creative and independant.
i get emotionally attached, but i also relate to people.

i have a gracious heart for my family and the trials that i have been given.
i sometimes forget how close the Lord really is.

i am so weird and sometimes think while im praying that mom is sitting right next to him,
i will tell her stories and laugh about the weird things that are happening.
but lately, i feel like a lot is going wrong or weird,
and the Lord has given me peace in my heart. to know i am fine,
and even the people i am worried about are fine.
whether that is a two hour phone call from a best friend,
or a simple reminder watching the sunset.
i recieve peace and faith and patience. 

i have made a valiant effort to really thank the Lord. to kneel down morning and night and truly thank the Lord for the people in my life, my amazing job, and even my trials. i am learning to have conversations with him. really tell him how i am feeling.

 i came to the conclusion that i need to give the Lord, 30 minutes of my day. This usually consists of a 10 minute prayer, and listening to a conference talk while im falling asleep. These 30 minutes have made the biggest impact on me and my attitude.

as i am learning and growing, i am realizing more and more how important my relationship with my Heavenly Father is. i truly depend on him now, more than i have ever in my life.

as my family is changing and growing, i am so happy, but feel more lonely. and the Lord has truly been a comfort to me.

I apologize for the heavy post, but i feel like i dont let you guys know my testimony of the gospel. how grateful i am for this beautiful mess i live in and the companionship of my Heavenly Father.


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  1. i love this. love the 30 minutes a day idea --- need to do that specifically! xoxoxo

  2. everything about this Is perfect. Thanks for being so real. Love it!

  3. you are amazing!

    you are my hero. i want to be more like YOU! love you so much.

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