Friday, April 18, 2014

beautiful



adjective
  1. 1.
    pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.
    • of a very high standard; excellent.



We are given a definition of beautiful that is so broad. i see beauty in so many things and people. the lights are beautiful, the temple is beautiful, and the flowers are beautiful.

when it comes to the people around me, i often find them beautiful and alluring. i have beautiful friends inside and out. who wear beautiful clothes and speak beautiful words. i have beautiful family members, who dont even see their beauty like i see it..i swoon over people i DONT EVEN KNOW, because their lives in cyber land seem so beautiful, their skin is clear, and they have a handsome husband.

but the thing that strikes me most, is that despite my ability to find beauty in all these things, i more often than not doubt my own beauty. because for some strange reason, the definition of beautiful changes when i am referring to myself. 

my sister tells me daily that i am way too hard on myself. it is always said that you are your toughest critic. and isnt that the truth?  it might be a mix between my OCD and my obsession with perfection and the idea of what i could be..

I PUT MYSELF DOWN, i say things like this.....

my hair is so gross, i will look so much better when its done.

if i just had that shirt, dress, skirt, and shoes, i would be so much happier.

if i was her size, i would eat whatever i want and fell so good about myself.

when i my skin is clear i will be sooooo happy.

im going to buy this magic pill that is going to help me lose ten pounds and have more energy...(k i kinda made this one up, but for real)


i spend countless dollars on material things to make me a little more beautiful. and i think we all do this. we compare and compare and compare, we beat ourselves up over things, we dont accept compliments.

All because we have the unrealistic expectation of who we are supposed to be, instead of really embracing who we are.

The Grass in NOT always Greener on the other side.

and even when you get there, you are still not good enough. 

my skin clears up, but i want it to be tanner.

i lose ten pounds but wish i was more toned.


like WHAT?

the past week i had two different people tell me i was beautiful, and i do not say this to toot my own horn bc believe me i was not dressed to impress...but it wasnt a boy who was looking for a date, or my friend trying to throw me a compliment before i left the house.

while i was at Deseret Book buying my favorite childrens book, "i like you," the lady helping me looked at me and said, "you are just so beautiful, you have a light."

i was in workout clothes, i had no makeup on, and i was carrying a soda. yet she saw something deeper than these material things i stress over. and this resignated with me more, than if anyone else would have said the same thing.. i have thought about this every day since. 

i am beautiful. i was given a light.

the world can't get us down you darling little friends of mine, dont let the world, ex boyfriends, or anyone paint little black dots on you that you cant shake off. i am there. i have been there. and we dont need to be there! 

accept compliments when you get them.
see the beauty in yourself the way all these other people do.
and stop pointing out your negatives and embrace your positives.

i am not saying these things as if im good at this, because this is something i am truly trying to work on as well. i am going to redefine my idea of self-beauty.

"if i could give you one thing in life, i would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only to see how beautiful you are to me." 


loveyouall.
you are a beaut!
xoxo,
chlo



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16 comments:

  1. This is amazing. I really needed to read it because I struggle with all of that, too. Thank you for writing! I don't even know you but you do have a light! And it is a beautiful one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my goodness thank you for sharing this! I totally need this. I have a lot of people who say "oh you just have the perfect life!" And I always think to myself, ya right! I don't have this, or this, or this, and my hair is gross and has tons of split ends, and this zit is taking over my face, and I'm not bikini season ready, etc. But really, my life is great. I can't complain. I have an amazing family and a husband who supports me. I think you are beautiful Chloee. I definitely look up to you and I hope we can meet in real life! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. i love this. i love how you worded everything. and i think you are the cutest!

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